LatteGirl

Well haven’t been around, as I’ve hit a new low. Last tuesday I was laid off unexpectedly, partly because of budget cuts, partly because they didn’t like me! So I have been eating to dull the pain, and guess what? I’m still angry/sad/rejected. Guess the food didn’t work! I am at my all time highest weight. SO sad :(. I know I have to start over one step at a time, but I just don’t have the inner strength. I pray that tomorrow when I wake up I feel like I can take control of this. Please God, give me strength to stop this self-punishment eating.

Can you believe I went to Chili’s last nite w a gal pal (after having fight w hubby) AND I didn’t eat the nachos! I totally rock! Nachos are my total weakness, but I just didn’t want to be that person anymore, ya know? So I had the skirt steak w broccoli, and then we did split a dessert, but oddly enough I didn’t feel like I had to have the last piece!! Maybe I can get control of this thing?

 I will weigh myself on Wed…let’s hope I lost at least a pound!! But I already feel less bloated and better about myself!

I can’t believe I actually made it to day 4! No binging, no ‘woe is me’ snacks, just bars and healthy food! The hardest part has been at lunch. I’m not even hungry at lunch, but at work everyone eats together, sitting and eating and sitting and eating. Geez. Why can’t we just eat our lunch and move on!! Well I have just been eating my bar, then chatting for a few, make my excuses, then MOVE ON! Feeling pretty darn good about myself! I will win this fight!!!

Day 3..gee feels like forever. But I am proud I’ve gotten this far. Yesterday there was a whole bag of Snickers @ work..I walked away. Even tougher was when I got home and the kids were crying about homework and hanging on me. I really felt I needed something. So I had a mozz string cheese to keep me going until dinner. Oh yeah, and 3 asprins - lol.

 I made the mistake of looking at my stomach in the mirror, how could it have gotten so bad?

 So I’m eating a South Beach cereal bar in the morn,  a high protein/low carb bar for lunch, nuts for an afternoon snack, and then a healthy dinner! I have not given up my latte in the morning, I need to keep sane. Plus I make it myself with soy and splenda, so it shouldn’t be too bad.

 Keep on truckin fellow dieters!

So far so good. I guess part of me knows I have to mean business this time. Had a bar for brkft, and one for lunch. Will have my beef and salad dinner and will have survived day1! Tomorrow will be harder because I’ll be at work with those horrioble people sucking the life out of me. But I will keep repeating my mantra..Food will not fix it..

I promise to get back on track tomorrow. AND every evening and every day I will repeat the mantra : Food will not fix it! ‘It’ being my crappy job, or my family problems. Food will only make my clothes tighter!! I will get control, I must, right?